A New Book from the Shadows
It’s been some time since I’ve sent out a newsletter. I’ve been deep in the work—Archaios, my teaching, fatherhood. The days vanish.
But I want to share something different with you today.
I recently published a small book. A quiet piece, but a powerful one. Raw. Honest. The Doomer.
If you’re familiar with the meme, yes—that’s the seed. But this isn’t just a joke. When people post those black-eyed, hollow figures and say, “me IRL,” what they’re really doing is confessing something. Beneath the humor is a spiritual rot. And that rot has a name: Umbrikar.
I wanted to explore what kind of soul identifies with that image. Who embraces that level of despair—not as irony, but as a worldview. What happens to a man who walks into nihilism without armor?
The Doomer tells the story of a young man who has failed at nearly everything. He’s out of hope. Ready to end it. And I didn’t want to write it as a wise elder offering advice from a throne of stability. I wanted to speak from the black pit itself—the same place I once stood in my youth.
The book opens with a journal entry—unfiltered, unedited. A voice trying to make sense of the void:
This is it. Today I am going to do it. I figured I would grab this old notebook and write it out the old fashioned way and just get it done. I just...I can’t anymore. I look at pretty girls online for hours and I can’t even visit my parents, even though they help support me. I just sit here, looking around my garbage apartment. Trash everywhere, McDonald’s bag, empty beer cans. This is my life...
It continues like that—raw, hopeless, real. But it doesn’t stay there.
This is not a book about wallowing. It’s about what remains when everything else is stripped away. It’s about what might be found on the edge of annihilation.
If any of this resonates with you—or if you know someone who lives with this kind of shadow—I hope you’ll give The Doomer a look.
